A New Year, But No “New Normal”: A Call for More Resilience

We continue to navigate the trifecta of a growing pandemic, frightening societal unrest, and economic uncertainty. Everyday life remains destabilized, even for those of us fortunate to be healthy and working, and especially for those more personally threatened. Without our familiar levels of human connection — and the associated psychological, emotional and physical benefits, it is hard to be resilient just when resilience is most needed!

I am so grateful lately to the friends, colleagues and acquaintances whose small gestures have boosted my mood and outlook. It’s been a welcome surprise to see just how little it takes. Apparently, boosting others’ resilience is quite easy.

At pre-pandemic levels of interaction, we could express ourselves more fully, pick up affirming cues, and get a better read on colleagues. Our natural thirst for connection could be satiated. These days, I see folks (including me) visibly responding more than ever to the smallest gestures of connection – such as an appreciative comment or affirming email. The bits of validation from others nudge us back to being our more confident, hopeful and agile selves. Just as we appreciate that first sip of water when we are extremely thirsty more than we enjoy the tenth sip, there is a huge return these days on simple gestures of positive connection, because there is so much negative around us.

Since I feel the benefits myself, I am trying to be more intentional about “gifting” others with extra validation. It is easy to give authentic “resilience boosts.” My favorites include giving an extra thank-you to someone for their effort or courage, explicitly validating their concern, praising a capability, showing empathy for a specific challenge, truly entrusting someone, reminding them of a past success, or sharing a laugh.

The bonus effect: When I see my impact on one person at a time, I feel less powerless about circumstances, and therefore…. more resilient for my own next challenge.

Ready, set, go…. Give out some boosts. Everyday.

Let me know how it goes.