Hey there, fellow humans. Our imperfections can be great teachers. Lately, I notice a pattern across my most frustrating and least effective interactions. It also plays out in the challenges my clients bring to the table.
I see a common root cause. It is the failure to ask – and answer – one question:
What else is true here?
This small but mighty question opens up brain space and unlocks new possibilities. It sparks collaboration, strengthens relationships, and improves decision-making. Without it, our pre-existing beliefs crowd out relevant truths – like refusing to unlock the emergency exits on a building we want to leave, when the main exit is not working.
I am working to catch myself from being so “efficient” when assessing others, drawing conclusions, and advocating for my views. If I pause to ask myself “What else is true here?” – and answer several times (not just once), with help from others as appropriate – better options usually emerge. Conversations progress with more ease.
Here is why this works:
The Venn diagram collaboration effect. When we broaden our definition of relevant information to include others’ perspectives, we enlarge our common ground. The additional areas of understanding, if not agreement, provide a stronger base on which to work together.
The power of adaptation. Choices, actions, and people are inevitably connected, whether we see the interdependencies or not. When we choose to notice more of the connections and consequences, we reduce blind spots and make wiser choices among competing priorities.
Mood and outlook. Open-minded curiosity can be an antidote to feeling stuck, helpless, or misunderstood. Forget about being right. When simple questions replace “We must”, “Can’t-do”, and “Don’t-like” statements, we remind our nervous system that we know how to navigate through hard things with agility. The exploration itself is calming and energizing.
Try it out! Pick a person or problem that is bugging you. Answer the question: ‘What else is true here?’ at least three times. You willilluminate more of the relevant truths. Useboth your emotional intelligence and your logic to reveal truths that can lighta clearer path forward.
